My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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