Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
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I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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