friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Randomize