Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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