I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he shaved USA in his pubs
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So squirting runs in the family.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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