Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So. Much. Porn.
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