If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize