i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize