We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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