I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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