U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize