I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize