Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
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