All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
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she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
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Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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