I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
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He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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