Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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