It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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