At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize