If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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