So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize