Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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