You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize