do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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