Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
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sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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