CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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