Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
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i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
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I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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