i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
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its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
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I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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