Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
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thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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