I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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