South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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