I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
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he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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