Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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