never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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