i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize