Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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