It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
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It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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