fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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