So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
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Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
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Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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