I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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