just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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