She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
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I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
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THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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