We're facebook friends in real life
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize