why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
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