too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize