wrigley field is MILF paradise
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize