I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize