So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
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Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
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I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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