my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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