next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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