apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
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you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
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My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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