at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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