Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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