but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
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He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
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And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We are all done wearing pants today
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